I Shouldn't Have Said That

AKA When the writer talks on The Cheer Dad Podcast.

There’s a distinct group of CheerMADs that aren’t represented nearly enough.

I’m talking about the “D” in CheerMAD: the Dads.

Unfortunately my two daughters’ father wasn’t a cheer dad. He attended one competition a season

(the one held in our city). He would have me save a seat for him and tell him the time our two daughters would compete. As the first one to compete’s team would be announced on deck, I’d get a text telling me he was in the arena and where was I?

He’d sit down just in time to see one daughter’s routine.

After it was finished, he’d walk to the side of the mat where parents would meet their athletes and upon seeing him, our daughter would light up, move through the sea of other parents as fast as she could and hug. 

I’d take a photo of the two of them, our happy All Star smiling so brightly. And feel a bit resentful. I was the one who did all the cheer things, and you know all of what that includes. But he’d swoop in and get all the appreciation that I wouldn’t. 

He thinks cheer caused our divorce and some day I’ll write about that because I know that we aren’t the only ones where “The Other Woman/Man” was cheer. For context I’ll just say in our divorce agreement, he made sure it was documented and judge-signed and sealed that he didn’t pay anything related to cheer. 

But I digress.

Not all dads are this absent in their athlete’s life. I used to look at the cheer dads that attended all their All Star’s comps, sometimes being the only parent. They could create the hair style, knew the music and where exactly to chant along or clap in the routine . They not only navigated a cheer season, they enjoyed it.

As an observer of this rarely heard from, but very important subset of the cheer parent community, I’ve seen a growing thread of cheer dads posting on social media. I reached out to a couple of them, veteran cheer dads Alex Russell and Jerry Grant, who are coming to the end of their first season with The Cheer Dad Podcast.

It was an honor to be their guest, the result of which will be on tomorrow’s episode of The Cheer Dad Podcast which can be accessed by clicking this.

Some of  their questions dug deep into the heart of the cheer parent life, and some of the murkier waters we tread. I answered like always, unbiased and truthfully as I know it. I was a little nervous at first; not being accustomed to being the interviewee. I said some things that might get me in “trouble” but it was real.

Give it a listen and see if you agree.

Alex Russell and Jerry Grant live in different states but share the same line of work: detailing automobiles. Alex had a popular podcast directed towards those in their specialty and became acquainted with Jerry.

Alex is the cheer dad to 16 years-old Haley who cheers on  Revival, Senior Medium Coed Level 5 at Top Gun Orlando. Michelle Russell is Haley’s cheer mom. She has competed in All Stars for 10 years and started with Rec cheer classes at four years of age.

Madelynn, age 11, is Jerry and Gabbee Grant’s daughter and Reese's sister. She’s finishing her seventh season in All Stars with Element Elite in Oklahoma, on its Youth Level 1 team, Xenon. This was also season five on school cheer at Silver Creek Elementary and Middle School.

I couldn’t help myself and conducted an interview of my own, the results of which follow:

CheerMAD: Why did you begin the Cheer Dad Podcast?

Alex: I previously had a podcast that was in line with my business in the automotive detailing industry and was getting burnt out on that. I enjoyed podcasting and originally wanted to do a cheer related podcast with Haley, but she wasn’t interested. That’s when I approached Jerry about doing a podcast for Cheer Dads.

Jerry: I joined The Cheer Dad podcast to help other dads that may feel alone in the space and to show that it’s OK to be an awesome girl dad and support your daughter to the fullest.

CheerMAD: I understand you met through the detailing business, how did you two discover you were both cheer dads?

Alex: I’ve always been pretty vocal about Haley’s cheer and when Jerry’s daughter started he mentioned it and it helped us connect more than just detailers and friends, but as cheer dads.

Jerry: When I first came in, I heard Alex talk about his daughter Haley on the detailed podcast he had and so I reached out and just to let him know that I’m also a cheer dad and it was a snowball effect from there.

CheerMAD: Before your athlete started competition cheer, what did you think Allstars was all about?

Alex: Honestly I didn’t know much about it except for the collegiate cheer that you’d see on ESPN from time to time.

Jerry: I had no idea All Star cheer was to the level it is now. Growing up as a kid it wasn’t as prevalent as it is today, so I was pretty ignorant to it,  not knowing what it was like.

Alex and daughter Haley, 16, on Revival, Sr. Med. Coed, Level 5 at Top Gun Orlando.

CheerMAD: Did you have any preconceived stereotypes and prejudices of competitive cheer? 

Alex: When we first started I didn’t have any, but the longer we’ve been in it I recognize the stereotypes more and more. Typically with the moms being “crazy” and the dads being “non existent.

Jerry: I didn’t really have any preconceived stereotypes. I’ve always supported my daughters and their journey, no matter what.

CheerMAD: What made you change your mind (if you did)? 

Alex: Well not ALL moms are crazy and I feel like more and more dads are actually showing up now and being super supportive of their kids, from the guys who go all out and dress up in costumes to the subtle dads who are just present.

CheerMAD: What surprised you the most, now that you know more about competitive cheer? 

Alex: How much cheer is like a family, good, bad and ugly. Families don’t always get along but when a child is hurt or in need, the family comes together to do everything they can.

Jerry: What’s surprised me most is the level of athletics these girls display. Also, it is truly a year-round sport. As soon as one season ends you’re right back into preparing for the next season with very little, to no off-season

CheerMAD: What is the number one thing you hear Cheer Dad’s grown and gripe about the most? And what do they love the most? 

Alex: I think the dads that don’t get it, gripe most about the cost of cheer and the traveling that’s involved for something that’s the price of a nice vacation but isn’t. I think the dads that are present love seeing their kid do something they love and as a dad that’s all that’s important.

Jerry: The number one thing I hear most gripped about in this sport is the cost. It is expensive. (Cheer parents) constantly harp on about the money being spent. But other sports are equally as expensive and any extracurricular activities are expensive to compete in. You know this going in. It’s no surprise. 

Jerry and daughter Madelynn, 11, on Youth Level 1, Xenon, at Element Elite.

Also there’s no cost to seeing my daughter fall in love with a sport and excel at what she’s doing. There’s no price tag on that. I would hope other dads feel the same and I’ve started to see more involvement on the dad side not just the mom side.

CheerMAD: Do you think Cheer Mom’s and Cheer Dad’s can survive together? 

Alex: With the right amount of alcohol. Lol no but seriously yes, I think it’s the yin and yang of cheer where the moms and dads help balance each other.

Jerry: Absolutely moms and dads can survive this. It’s really not that hard if you embrace it and take it in.